A Break

Onetime, after returning from a Missions trip( The Missions trip was where I wrote Today We RE-o-BE-y-L.) and calling my mum to check up on her after two days. She was great buuuutttt she sort of gave me a bad news. My sister who wrote JAMB scored a sad score. It was below 200.
It feels disappointing because we are a family of genius. My grandpa still attempts to read with the little vision he has even though he doesn’t recognize me sometimes. I don’t blame him. He’s quite old. My dad is the sort of the best business man I know. My Dad is a kingmaker in business even in the way God has magnified us. He’s very smart. We are all smart in our family right from me to kiddo Bliss.

Speaking for myself and blowing my trumpet neatly as I can, I wrote GCE and WAEC and trust me, I did well. I wrote JAMB twice though… But the first attempt was witheld and I was invited to Abuja to do a sort of defending the result but story story happened, I couldn’t go then came second attempt with a honest 2-sixty-something, I had an even higher score in my PUTME with an aggregate that resulted in UNN giving 2 admissions in Biomedical Engineering and Combined Biological Science even though I had filed for Medicine and Surgery.
PS: The prevailing theory behind my first JAMB score was that I probably hit a spot that was disbelieving to them so I had to defend it.

Now hearing my sister’s report isn’t so inspiring but I’m wondering how she feels. I know I can’t call her right up and ask series of questions that would only just make her feel bad. It isn’t proper. She is probably already is feeling bad for herself and trust me my dad would not make it easier for her because she had flunked (intentionally, she says to me in secret) a subject that was supposed to push her into the Medical/Biological Sciences line. So right now I feel she needs all the inspiration and encouragement she can get. Things are going to be fine. She gon be alright in Tye Tribette voice. Even though I have to ask what happened, its got to be constructed in a way that doesn’t make her feel terrible. I’m a good big brother.

Now this is a tip to y’all. Don’t be on the rush to make people bad for themselves just because they didn’t meet up to some expectation. These people have that burden bearing on them many times more than you who is making up expectations.
Of course you have to correct and inspire such one, there’s a way you can do that without making the person feel miserable for themselves.

Have you taken a pause to reflect on the position of whom you’re leading? You’re probably not the only leader in their lives. Let’s put my sister in this position. She’s got my mum, She’s got my Dad, She’s got her teachers, She’s got her mentor, She’s got her Pastor, She’s got me. Surely, pressure would come from somewhere and it’d be much you can bet, however I can’t afford to be the one who’d break the camel’s back with my pressure in the name of correction when I know she’s got many leaders who’d have given the same correction. I bet if she made an outburst at me, anyone would tag it rude. Standing at that, you can fully tag it bad, she’s worn out… Frustration have to be vented one way or the other.
Many times, the best correction you can give is to deliberately ignore the downslide but help with the recuperation process deliberately with words like… “I know you’re probably feeling rough right now but cheer up, all things work together. How can I be of help?”

Another tip I can give you is to go the person a break. Mentally, give the person a break. Physically too. If the person does something for you. Offer a break to the person. Trust me, they need it. Don’t push it if the person insists on still fulfilling his task.

Well, these are tips I learnt from being a big brother. I learnt to give a break before the break. I hope it comes in handy.